The Search For Something Real
by reader71
Summary: SEQUEL TO A THOUSAND MILES. In Bella's world time passes so quickly that sometimes its even hard to remember who she used to be. But what happens when her past starts to jeopardize her future and the future of those she loves?
1. Tragedy is The Name of The Game

**Disclaimer: Okay so right now I'm watching The House of Wax and I have a question, what the hell is wrong with people in a scary movie? RUN AWAY YOU STUPID PEOPLE! And never, ever go looking around the crazy dudes house because you are always going to get caught and he's going to get you with some sharp of blunt object. And when you find yourself in a deserted town where the people are wax never go with the stranger, especially if he's the one your crazy brother threw a beer bottle at last night. AND ALWAYS run out the door, never up the stairs, because the guy in the scary mask will follow you and he will strong and knock the door down, and if you lock the door the one time you need it the most the lock will malfunction. Anyway, I don't own Twilight, making you crazy however is all me.**

**Okay this is the trilogy THIS IS THE LAST ONE. Anyway here's what's going on with the story:**

**1. This is 15 years in the future**

**2. Lily and Masen are fifteen and in high school (they are no longer in Friday Harbor and their powers have not yet developed)**

**3. ****Edward and Bella are seperated but still married, I'm not going to tell you every reason why but eventually you'll find out**

**4. Every chapter there will be a clip of the past**

**Enjoy!**

_Edward came into the room with a look that said he knew what he was in for, I threw a navy blue duffle bag, and by some miracle it hit his chest before his hands flew up to catch it, he squinted at me, "What's this?"_

_"That," I said going into the closet and throwing two pairs of his shoes out the door, followed by pants, shirts, and socks, "is your bag, you will be sleeping at your parents house until I am able to deal with you again."_

_"Isabella we need to talk about this." Edward looked cold and distant, as if being here was too hard for him._

_Good._

_I shook my head vigorously, "I'm done talking, because if we start talking I might say a few things that I will regret, I might say that every converstation we've ever had is a lie, I might say that every person I called my family has been lying to me from the start under your order and that makes me hate you a little bit, and I also might say that I'm a girl who has truth issues, which you caused, and now I find out that my own husband has been lying to me from the second he saw me again and it makes me wonder about what else you've been lying about," I collected all the things that I had thrown out of the closet and threw them at him._

_"Bella," his jaw was clenched now, "you do not understand what it is going on, let me explain. You need to let me explain, just stop and let me talk."_

_I stopped what I was doing, I was gathering the blankets, because they were driving me crazy, "No," I said looking at him, "Edward I love you so much that sometimes it physically hurts, but I will not overlook this for you, we've both done some pretty bad things in our lifetime, but at least I'm upfront about my emotional baggae, at least I've never lied to you. Never. Because that's what's marriage is about, telling the truth no matter what. Now just leave Edward."_

_"Isabella this is exactly what she wants, you don't know Lyla like I do." Edward's eyes were wild, like a dear caught in the headlights._

_"And I don't really want to know her, Edward," I said pursing my lips, "all I really care about at the moment is getting you the hell out of this house." I gathered all the sheets together, leaving the matress bare and walking to the second floor landing._

_"Isabella, I'm not leaving," he tried to sound like he was sure. I threw the comforter and sheets down the stairs._

_It was done. It was enough. And I was very close to losing it._

_I whipped my head around and hissed, "Do you think this is easy for me? Edward look at me, I'm drowning here, you're killing me. I'm tired and all I want is you gone. Just please Edward, leave" all the doors and paintings in the entire house started to shake, and the twins started to cry, I imagine they could feel that I was very close to having absolutely no control of my power._

_I tried to take deep breaths and leaned against the wall, "Just leave Edward, plaese just leave, I can't . . . I can't look at you, or any of them . . . I just . . . I can't see you right you right now." I closed my eyes, and took deep breaths, and prayed that when I opened them he wouldn't be there, and he wasn't, when I opened my eyes I heard the door shutting quietly._

**15 years later**

I was in the kitchen in the new house, everything was unpacked and neat, it was new. But my life wasn't. I was still a Mom, I was living with my dead beat brother and sister and being followed around by my husband and his family.

I sighed and ran my hand through my hair, leaning on the counter. Edward and I had been seperated for years upon years, almost totaling up to thirteen. Lyla unforetunately had stuck around and made my life so completely unbearable that I wanted nothing else to do but get out. And when we had finally seperated she had left.

With a blaring noise of deafening rock music my daughter appeared in ripped jeans and a white halter top her copper colored curls flowing down to the small of her back, she hurled herself into a kitchen chair.

"Mom," she whined, "Masen will not stop with the anal cleaning it's driving me absolutely crazy, I got no sleep last night because of his stupid vacume."

"I'm surprised you can hear the vacume over that crap you call music," I said coming over and kissing the top of her heard, dropping a plate pancakes in front of her, "God your father would murder me if he found out I was letting you listen to that stuff."

"Last night was ass," Belinda said trudging down the stairs in a light blue night gown and a silk robe, "Danny and I could hardly concentrate with the combined noise of vacume and techno pop."

"I so do not listen to techno pop," Lily said shoving a piece of pancake in her mouth and yelling, outraged at the accusation.

"Out of all that was said in that conversation that is what upsets you the most?" I said walking up and pinching Belinda's shoulder, "Could you not swear and reference sex in front of my kid?"

"Oh come Belly Bell Lil knows where eveythings at," Belinda said walking over to Lily and warping her arms around Lily's shoulders and rocking her back forth, Lily giggled and smiled up at her aunt.

"Oh yes something I definetely want to talk about," I said holding up my hand and trying not to grimace.

"Oh, mom please," Lily said wincing, "have you seen the unwashed boys that go to our new school as if I would let anyone of them . . . ew its too gross to even talk about," Lily shook her head, "besides if I had I would have told you and Aunt Belinda." Lily said matter of factly, Belinda and I smiled at each other.

Just then Masen tromped down the stairs in his ripped and paint stained jeans and a faded red polo shirt, his ear lobe length brown hair messy, he grabbed the pan of pancakes and the syrup combined and started to chow down.

"Could you not do that next to me," Lily said holding up he hand to try and block out the image of her brother enhaling pancakes.

"Try not looking," Masen said forking up another huge bite of pancake into his mouth and then squirting an extra shot of syrup into his mouth.

"Its like a car wreck big brother you can't look away." Lily said finishing her pancakes and dumping them in the sink and grabbing her messenger bag, and sitting on the counter next to Belinda and I.

"Last night was ass," Danny said clomping down the stairs and sitting next to Masen on a chair, looking at the pancakes with disgust.

Belinda, Lily, and I burst out laughing and Belinda clapped her hands together, walking over to her husband and kissing him lightly, "We are so meant to be."

"Well its silent now," Danny said picking up his wife and carrying her upstairs. The kids and I all looked disgusted and winced.

"Belinda we have work in an hour," I screamed up the stairs, "and great example to set for the kids by the way." I sighed and leaned back against the wall and sighed, it was weird how I was happy and comepletely devastated at the same time.

"Okay so lets review the story," I said clapping my hands together. Talking about the story the twins were going to tell everyone about their family.

"Mom not again," Masen whined and dumped the pan into the sink and started to do the dishes, because that was my son. He hated mess but loved making them.

"Humor me," I said walking to the down stairs bathroom which was right next to the kitchen. My uniform was hanging up on the back of the door. I pulled off my pants and pulled on my short black skirt, I pulled off my top and finger the long silver chain which where my wedding and engagment ring hung. I sighed and pulled on my tight white women's dress shirt, buttoning the middler bottons and fastening my name tag, starting to do my hair as I listened to my kids drone on, reciting the story their father and I had taught them.

"We are twins-" Lily started

"Wow big stretch there," Masen interupted snorting as Lily whacked him on the arm.

Lily continued, "who live with our nineteen year old big sister, you mom, and her twenty year old brother, Uncle Danny, and his wife, Aunt Belinda. Carlisle and Esme Cullen our are Aunt and Uncle and we are very close to their adoptive children. Oh and by the way mom all the girls thought you were going to steal their boyfriends until they say how you and dad acted around each other."

"Can we not discuss that?" I said finishing my hair, it was pulled into a bun, except for two chuks of curls on each side that framed my face. I winced as I came out of the bathroom. I could handle myself around Edward in controlled amout of times but spur of the moment contact was not something I could handle.

Lily looked like she was going to protest, Masen was too busy drinking Orange Juice out of the carton. I whacked on the back of the head playfully and grabbed the carton away from him.

Thankfully the doorbell rang and I was saved from having to explain for the millionth time why their father and I jst needed to be apart for the time being.

I mentally prepared myself, "That'll be you're dad," I said slipping on my black high heels and going to the door. Edward was there to great me as brooding and as good looking as ever, it still took my breath away.

"Isabella," he said nodding towards me. Edward and I were civil, when we weren't sending each other brooding glances. This is what my life has turned into, the only contact I have with my husband is through our children. I still don't know what to do when I'm around him wether I should smile or cry. He doesn't know why were like this, in fact the only people who do know are Lyla Abbott and me. She had threatened the very lives of the two people I care most about so I promised to give up my true love, but that is a different story completely.

"Edward," I sighed, looking into the mirror by the door, I was pretty, except those eyes, the eyes that matched Edward's, the sadness, the dullness, the boredom, everything that's comes back in spades when he walks into the room. I cross my arms and turn around, biting my bottom lip, trying to hide the look of utter pain that flashes across my face as I call for my children, "Lily, Masen Dad's here."

The two come roaring across the floor, powerwalking to the door, it lightens the mood a bit, Edward and sort of light up when our children walk into the room, Lily, my height squeezes my shoulder as she passes by, Masen nearly a foot taller kisses the top of my head, and despite myself I fling my arms around the two and let out a happy sob, "Have a great first day."

They smile at Edward, he's there dad, and the two of us have that awkward moment that happens almost everyday when I say goodbye, and I walk out onto the porch waving at the car, the only one who waved back was Emmett, Rosalie was pissed that she had to go to high school when I got to have a job, Alice and I . . . it was just to awkward, Jasper and I had never been that close in the first place, Emmett and I . . . he didn't blame me for anything, he seemed to know somehow that I was just doing what I thought was right, and that it killed me but I thought that was what had to be done.

When the car was around the bend, I looked at my watch I had a half hour until I had to leave for work so I did what I always did after I saw Edward, I ran up to my room, closed the door, turned on the music as loud as it will go, and sob without tears, hit anything in my path, and collapse on the floor in utter agony, after fifteen minutes, I stand up calmly, turn off the music, do my makeup, get Belinda, and head for work.

Thankfully, my life is about to get a little less tragic.

**Depressing right? I know, I know but the chapters to come will hopefully be better. I really have no idea because I'm not exactly sure what I'm doing with the story. Stay tuned!**

**REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW,**

**CARLY ;)**


	2. Stranded

**Disclaimer- I don't own Twilight**

**Yes I know, its been a really long time and I'd be surprised if anyone still remembered me, but if you do, and you're reading this sorry about my extremely long absence, I had issuses. I'll try my best to update more frequently.**

**Enjoy**

**Chapter 2**

Stranded

_I sit there against the wall for hours, waiting to wake up. It's a dream, it has to be of course. This isn't my life, this isn't anything resembling what I thought my future would be, this is a dream, some horrible nightmare. The fact that I don't sleep is just a minor detail that doesn't matter._

_Once I realize that I am not in fact in some horrible alternate universe I have the urge to cry. Of everything becoming a vampire has robbed me of I have never missed that particular vice, but right now I want it. I want to scream my eyes out, I want to punch in a wall while hot tears roll down my cheeks. I want to feel the shame that comes in being able to illustrate your emotions so vividly. _

_There are so many things that I thought could happen, so many things that I had nightmares about, so many things that could damage this perfect little life I had, but he had never been one of them, in my darkest fears it was always me who ruined what we had. _

_He was perfect._

_I would forgive him. I had known it the moment he left, kicking him out was just a way to make him suffer, as I was now, because the truth is, there's nothing without him, absolutely nothing. The only thing more important then being with him, was being with my children. I would gladly kill for both._

_Daybreak startles me out of my coma, I stand, and my arms and legs cry out, stiff from staying in the same position for hours. I hobble over to the kitchen, and immediately busy myself with dirty bottles, thank God for the twins. The hot water, scalds my numb fingers, my mind instantly quickens, the fog lifting, leaving me with a horrible hollow feeling that makes me even more desperate. I want to wake up. I want something to feel real. _

_And then the door bell rings. _

_It can't be him. He's smarter then that. I am the sleeping bear, that you don't poke. The rabbit that runs at the first sign of trouble. We both know that all to well. He wouldn't rush contact, at least not yet. _

_I brace myself as I turn the knob. I'm not ready yet, for anything. The very sight of any of the Cullen family member will send my barely there grasp of the world back to me collapsed on the floor. But when the door opens the sight is so much worse then on of my in laws. Lyla's smug smile makes me want to slap it off her face,"You kicked him out," she says regarding me, "good girl. You're much stronger then I would have predicted."_

_I frown, before fastening a fake smile onto my lips, "Well I'm glad you're happy, because that was really my goal," hoping my sarcasm bites as much as I intended it to._

_She seems unfazed and I make a move to shut the door but she puts her hand up, motioning for me to stop, pleading quickly,__ "Please, just hear me out for a few more minutes, and then I promise, I'll leave."_

_I bite my lip, and then because there's some desperate part of me that needs to hear the explanation, needs to know exactly how much I'm going to have forgive,I move aside. Letting her inside the house._

_It's was the worst mistake of my life._

Life gets boring when they leave, I start to itch all over, like a reoccurring panic attack. After the lunch rush ends I mechanically change out of my work "uniform", pulling on a pair of dark jeans, and a purple turtle neck and tying my hair in pony tail that rests at the nape of my neck.

I walk quickly into the sunshine, and after a moment I let out a disgruntled shriek as I realize what I've done, looking down at my glittering hand, horrified, I turn and run back under the awning. My car is parked four blocks away and I can't make a run for it without being spotted. I let out a low groan, I can't believe I was this stupid, I've been doing this for nearly twenty five years and I made such a rookie mistake.

Quickly, I pull out my cell phone and hit the speed dial and pace as both Belinda and Danny's cell phones ring straight to voice mail, and then I remember that they couldn't help me anyway, their off in Seattle picking up some of the furniture that's been in storage since before they even knew me, they say I'll love it. I'm slightly terrified, picturing a mix of brightly colored 80's couches and wooden chairs dating back to the eighteenth century. I quickly think about the kids, they would be at the house, ready to questioned about their first day at their new high school, they won't think anything of my absence for at least another half an hour.

I start to hyperventilate when I realize who the only person I can call now is. Trying not to think about what I'm doing I punch in the numbers that will send me straight to my own personal hell. Hardly breathing the entire time.

"Isabella," he questions, the confusion by my call is evident, we communicate maybe twice a month about custody, we switch weeks, Cullen house for seven days and then mine, it's been done like this since they were infants, we split holidays in half, from Thanksgiving to Veterans Day. It works for us. There were frequent phone call updates from the children, to the parent they weren't staying with. But other then on special occasions like open houses and ceremonies, Edward and I hardly communicated. I preferred it that way. There was less of a chance that something would slip out.

"Edward," I breathed, his voice still had the ability to make me tremble, taking a second to compose myself I finished, "I'm really sorry about this, but I wouldn't be calling if it weren't an emergency," I sighed, trying to keep my frustration to myself.

Instantly his mind turns to the worst case scenario and interrupting me he questions,"Why, what's wrong, is there something wrong with Lilly and Masen?" He worries too much, always has.

"No", I say, quickly reassuring him , before stumbling through my words once again,"no it's nothing like that, I just, I just .. . God this is so embarrassing . . . I'm kind of stranded. . . .outside of the restaurant, and Bee and Danny are in Seattle and I just . . . I didn't know who else to call."

There was a moment of hesitation, and for a second I thought he was going to say no, that I could figure out my own way home, that he was done saving me, it's what I would have done if I were him, but because he is and always will be a better person then I am, the hesitation vanished quickly and he stated, resigned, "I'll be there as soon as I can."

And he was.

Twenty minutes and countless calculations of how unpleasant this was going to be later he pulled up in the all new black Audi A4 that had been purchased just a few days after we had decided to move. I quietly picked up my purse as Edward leaned over in the car and opened the passenger side door. I quickly jumped in and closed the door.

Edward tilted his head towards me, his eyes meeting mine, I held his gaze for a minute before looking away, quietly I whisper, "Thank you . . . for coming to pick me up." Without saying a word he quietly pulled away from the curb. I leaned into the seat, my body bristling at the tension in the air, Edward was obviously feeling it as well, he was gripping the steering wheel so hard I though it was going to break in half.

After a few seconds later I ask, "So . . ." I say it a little louder then necessary, desperate to break the silence, "hows the family."

As if on cue the phone rang, and Edward's hand dashed for its resting place in the cup holder, his eyes shot to my own before he quickly answered, "What?" There was a brief pause and then a, "You have got to be kidding me. On the second floor?" His hand smacked the dashboard, "Well who told Rosalie she could do that? She knows Esme's going to hunt her down, right?" I was starting to get interested when Edward bellowed, "Emmett stop rambling about your damn XBox 360, if you don't save my CDs I will physically handicap you." He then proceeded to hang up the phone and throw it out the open window. Cursing quickly under his breath.

"Why Edward," I swooned, holding my chest in mock amazement, "do you kiss our children with that mouth?" I smiled lightly at my own joke, relaxing for a moment and turning my head towards him, "So, from what I heard of the phone conversation I'm guessing it was _really_ good news. Care to share with the rest of the class?" I added sarcastically.

He shot me a dirty look, before hissing, "Apparently Rosalie decided to try and play renovator this afternoon and knocked down a wall so that her bedroom would be bigger, and being Rosalie she completely ignored the enormous pipe in her way, turns out the pipe was filled with water, and now it's spraying everywhere, and its begun the leak down to the lower floors. Sorry about this," he said once again glancing my direction. "but we're going to have stop my house, there's no was I'm trusting Emmett with my collection."

"Oh no," I said calmly, "speed away, Alice has the majority of Masen and Lily's baby pictures, and if those get ruined I think I'm going to have shove _Rosalie_ through a wall."

Pushing down on the gas pedal Edward U turned away from the direction of my car and sped off toward our respective homes.

For a few minutes the car was quiet except for the quiet music whispering from the speakers, and then Edward quietly stated, "Broken."

"What," I questioned, his words shaking me from my zoned out state.

"You asked me how my family was doing, it's broken, Alice hardly speaks to me, Emmett avoids me, I see my kids every other week besides in school, where their not even aloud to call me Dad, and I haven't touched my wife in well . . . lets see its been at least a decade, so yeah I'd pretty much say my family's doing about as good as the wall that was standing in the way of Rosalie and her bigger bedroom," he slammed his hand on the dashboard again, and this time I winced, knowing I provoked the action.

He breathed heavy before quieting and stating heavily, "I apologize, things over the last few months have been . . . trying."

Without looking at him I opened my mouth to speak, trying to control my voice, trying not to let on how difficult not grabbing his hand was for me right now, "I'm sorry too... for my part in all of it. I wish things could be different ...I wish that I could forget ... you have no idea how much."

Edward looked as if her was about to say something, but before he could, his driveway became visible, and any barriers that I had let him break down were immediately repaired as I murmured, "Oh my god," and burst out laughing.

Piled high in the Cullen drive way were garbage bags on top of garbage bags of what I could only assume were Alice's designer shoes and purses, Emmett's game systems and wide screen television were placed lovingly near the front of the house, Rosalie had already managed to pull her brand new silver BMW out of the garage and was going to work on all of the other luxury automobiles, running over the manicured garden when necessary, I saw tire marks all over the rose bushes, Esme was not going to be pleased. Edwards CDs seemed to have been pitched out of a second story window, and were laying scattered all over the lawn.

That was all it took to send him speeding from the car. I quickly exited it as well and walked up to the house, hands in my pockets, Jasper was on his cell phone screaming at someone who I could only assume was a plumber, his voice rang in my ear as he bellowed, "I don't care if your wife's _parents_ are in town, my house is spraying water like a fucking _fountain_and I need someone to make it stop!" There was a pause, "No, tomorrow is NOT okay, did you not hear me, we are taking on water like the Titanic, the house won't be here tomorrow." He finally seemed to get what he wanted and started nodding at the phone.

He had just hung up when Rosalie emerged from the house, carrying what looked to be a very old and no doubt priceless painting, Alice was trailing behind, carrying two overstuffed garbage bags, she was roaring at Rose, "Where are we supposed to stay tonight Rose? There aren't any hotels for fifty miles! It's going to be weeks before this is fixed, and I refuse to spend that time in some run down motel!"

I think it was seeing calm little Alice truly upset that led me to say the words I did next, or maybe I wasn't thinking at all, but regardless I shouted towards the squabbling pair, "You can all stay just with me and the kids."

**Oh, reconciliation perhaps? Anyway, hoped you liked it.**

**REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW,**

**Carly **


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